The Expat Home Leave

Oh, how the days go so slow…we leave Saturday, very early, for Denver. It’s a lot of what I think about, returning home, yet it seems so elusive. The reality is it’s never what I think it will be like. I picture happy kids, rested parents and casual, calm dinners with friends. More realistically, it’s normal kids with their range of emotions, jet lagged parents and rushed meals wherever we go. I am making a vow now to slow down on this visit. Only schedule 1-2 things a day and ask people to come to us if at all possible. Jones throws a new element to this home leave. It was one thing to leave at 9am and return at 8pm with 2 wiped out girls. It’s a whole other game to add a 9 month old and 2-3 naps to the routine. While living here I have relinquished control of my home to hired help (not bragging here, it’s just the way of life). I could regain it and try to level out the responsibilities more like what I am used to. I could, but I don’t.

I look forward to making dinners for my family and baking with the girls and possibly planting a small garden with them as well. All things I could have done with ease and a smile before we moved. I chose to fill my time with other, mostly worthy, items instead. It’s the grass is always greener that gets to me. I have space envy as I have learned to live in a space much smaller than our home in CO. Not just square feet, but the backyard, the front yard and all the space there is when you are in a house. I miss everything about my life there. The playgroups, the coffees, at least one child with me at a lunch with Curt. Driving…oh, driving! I can’t wait! Being on a schedule that let’s me sleep til 7am and go to bed after 10pm. Curt and I staying up after the kids go to bed and catching up on tv shows. Knowing at least one grandparent will ease our load on the weekend for a night. Running outside in the crisp, fresh CO air. Just me and the trail I know I can beat!

The part I forget is the exhaustion! The solo time with the kids where I have to schedule my showers with nap times. Hauling kids with me EVERYWHERE I go. The grumble and whine from Ellery as she is my homebody who doesn’t like to get out. The juggle of three kids and my attention. Let’s keep in mind Curt is only in town for a short time this summer, so I am imagining the worst part, him gone. I don’t mean to whine, I am grateful to see everyone and am truly excited to go home. I just needed some self-talk to keep me balanced. To remember the grass isn’t always greener, but that it’s OK that way. Sometimes it has brown spots, but the brown spots make life interesting! Then there is our kitchen, that is very exciting!

Here’s to realistic expectations and little disappointment! 3 days left til we jump on the plane! Wish us luck!